Imagine. It’s 2 AM, and your crush just texted you. Your heart’s on a roller coaster of emotions. Palms sweaty, heart thumping, overthinking every emoji. Should you text them immediately? Should you casually say “hello” or go full Shakespeare in their DMs?
From asking “how to not sound overly flirty” to comfort oneself after a breakup, Gen Z is increasingly leaning on artificial intelligence not only for college assignments, but also for matters of the heart.
In the digital age, thousands of Gen Zs are taking guidance for their love life with AI tools. So, relationship advice is no longer the sole domain of wise grandmas, agony aunts, or professional counsellors.
Today, love advice seems to be just a prompt away, with tools like ChatGPT quietly slipping into the role of the modern love guru. And, youngsters believe this “love guru” is always listening to them without any judgements and giving them comforting responses.
“Traditionally, a love guru is a person who offers advice on relationships, dating, and emotional connections without being judgmental and biased about one’s relationship experiences,” defines Sidhharrth S Kumaar, a relationship coach in Gurugram and Mumbai. He notes that the scenario is changing and youngsters are consulting chatbots over counsellors. According to him, for teens and tweens, ChatGPT is the most preferred and primary love guru.
Quick, free, & no drama
For Bhavyashree, 19, AI tools are a go-to thing because they will never say, “Log kya kahenge,” to her confusions and bubbly thoughts.
“I’ve asked artificial intelligence for suggestions like ‘what do I text him?’ or ‘how to not sound desperate.’ It won’t judge, but will give cleaner answers than real people, without the extra emotional mess,” she says.
The teenager also tells us that she asks this ‘love guru’ to give her outfit ideas for her date and tips to stay calmer and not overthink when in a relationship.
Well, Bhavyashree isn’t alone.
A recent study by relationship app Paired revealed that both GenZ and millennials are using artificial intelligence in their love lives, with 15 percent of the younger group using AI to plan dates, 12 percent seeking relationship advice from it, and 72 percent using AI for romantic purposes.
Licensed clinical psychologist Jahanvi Agrawal, who practices in Mumbai, says she’s seen a clear increase in clients using AI before seeking human help.
“Yes, people are turning to artificial intelligence for relationship related concerns and I see it in clients who come to me. They especially use it when they’re contemplating a breakup, or are confused about their standing in the relationship,” she shares.
Agrawal recalls that people have shown her ChatGPT responses and asked whether she would second them. But, she clarifies, “As a general thumb rule, we professionals don’t give advice as ChatGPT or Grok does. Instead, we deeply explore the concerns by examining the pros and cons of each option and empower clients to come up with their own decision.”
Why are people moving to AI tools than a human – parent, friend, or a psychologist, we ask. She believes money and time are significant factors for this shift.
ChatGPT might be free and faster, but she wants people to understand that professionals come with a charge and they are the ones who can understand the nuances of complex human relationships.
“You may be able to hide things from artificial intelligence-powered apps and tools by changing words. Concealing your emotions through body language, tonality, facial expressions can be challenging in front of a professional and that’s what we aim to tap into.”
“General purpose GPTs are not built for emotional coaching. They lack emotional depth, and intuition. It’s good when used as a starting point, not as a full replacement for human empathy of relationship coaches,” Kumaar agrees with the psychologist.
AI in dating
Noting that there are specialised dating app using AI in matchmaking and providing AI-based solutions to queries, like Tinder and Iris, he says, “Specially curated AIs for relationship coaching which mimic a proven and credible relationship coach is a better option and will act as wings to relationship coaches to enhance their client experience.”
Zoraver Mehta, founder of Panda, a dating app with over 10,000 users, reveals that 95% of its members are Gen Z. And while the platform does use AI, it resists letting it take over personal connection.
“We use our Panda Smart AI for some cool things in the background, like powering our Myers-Briggs personality tests to ‘nurture compatibility,’ but we draw a hard line when it comes to the first move. Using artificial intelligence to write your opening line? That’s not you, that’s a robot,” Mehta highlights.
On this app, it’s not AI doing the talking — it’s all about real sparks and genuine vibe checks.
Real connection
While some Gen Zs find AI helpful, others still long for the depth of real-world connection.
Suraj Shetty, 26, opines, “When it’s about the relationship, it’s more important to be real. When the person is in front of you, you cannot use AI, so it’s better to be yourself.”
Prem Kumar, 25, echoes that sentiment. “When it comes to feelings, we should express them in our own words. If I need some help, I would see my friend as a love guru and not any tech tool because friends personally know me and can advise me better than the information chatbot has about me, just in a 20 or 50 word prompt.”
Radhika Venkataramanan, 25, believes in heart-to-heart interactions and doesn’t entertain artificial intelligence to comment on her love life. “I prefer spending time with the person I like. No AI will know him better than he himself,” she rightly coins it.
“I completely think there’s no need for AI as a tool for human understanding and relationships. Why bring a 3rd person-like electronical tool to tell me about a person I am in love with?” she says further.
Suraj, Prem, and Radhika mention that while they don’t actively use AI for relationship and dating advice, many in their friend circles have embraced it as their love gurus.
“I know my colleague, college friends even my cousins very much dependent of AI and feeling satisfied and relieved to get a solution from it, but my partner and I think the same. We both prefer open conversations than asking artificial intelligence to sound perfect,” Radhika notes.
What happens when one partner finds out the other is seeking help from a bot instead of communicating to them with comfort? Of course, they would question the AI filter!
“If I ever used AI to get suggestive texts instead of directly talking to my partner, he’d probably say something like, ‘So you asked a bot before talking to me?’ It might upset him,” Bhavyashree shares despite her liking for using technology for love life advice.
New Love Guru
So, is AI Gen Z’s love guru?
Maybe. But it’s not replacing friends, therapists, or romantic partners anytime soon.
Bhavyashree admits she wouldn’t blindly follow AI advice. “I’ll read it, vibe-check it, then do what feels right. AI’s fast and smart, but heart still wins,” she says.
As psychologist Jahanvi Agrawal puts it, “AI can be helpful to reorganise your thoughts or momentarily assuage yourself, but in the long run, it can be harmful. If young people need someone to help them in their romantic relationships, ChatGPT cannot do that.”
The psychologist and the relationship coach conclude that Gen Z needs to understand that AI, which in itself doesn’t breathe or have feelings, cannot par a human professional.
AI prompts used by Gen Z
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Hi ChatGPT, He texted me right now. Should I give him an instant reply?
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What’s a cute way to start a conversation on a dating app?
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I am chatting with my college girl since a week, give me a message to ask her for night drive without sounding lustful?
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How to flirt without being cringe?
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Can I call him at night or will he get to know I am thinking about him at bed?
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He hasn’t liked my posts or watched my story. Is he ghosting me?
